I'm taking some time out this week to find myself.
Today I'm stepping outside the box to comment on things unknown. The strangest things have been happening to me in my life lately. Perhaps they always have been I've never paid them any mind. It's funny how somethings come full circle.
A few years ago, I found a picture I fell in love with at a flea market it was hand painted and in Swedish, from a lady's estate. I don't know why but it was so pretty to me and the painting is done on what appears to be just regular old craft paper. The frame is very old and taped up on the back.
I had it translated to be PSALM 386, a hymnal song that is called 386 In the deep of the high.
The deep in the high
there is an invisible hand,
and a never-end eye
watching over the slightest bit.
Nothing vault up the rods,
where the hand does not reach.
No one night stands around you,
where the eye not penetrate.
Wherever you are fleeing and where you are,
before you is the Lord there.
High thought, delightful to think:
everywhere live the Lord God,
not only where the stars shine
and where the thunder bears his bid.
He was my way in the dark covers,
I am happy in the light of day,
cools me in the wind rustling
and my thirst in the source quenches.
I in all that is and happens
he hears and sees him.
| 3rd |
God, I am alive and I moved
only in you and through you.
Of your father's hand, I passed
forward to future murky path.
During your hiding place I rest
UTI the trench arms
to you call me by name
and I wake up happy and textiles,
Father, that eternal
behold and sing to you.
Johan Olof Wallin 1817
Maybe I liked the painting because the Angel looked like my mom?
So that begs the question who are the kids in the painting? A little blond hair girl and a skinny brown haired boy crossing a bridge, guarded by the Angel. Cute , huh?
I love this. He's helping her across the bridge. Or is he helping me? Where are you if so?
So lately my life has had strange things happen. From seeing series of double rainbows, to having dreams of Jesus, strange oddities that I must have been too busy to notice before. I'm thinking I'm having some type of spiritual awakening.
The painting seems to indicate via it's words of the Psalm / Hymn 386 that I need to fully accept God into my life (in order to understand that which I don't now.) And seems to tell me that God is always there even if I feel I'm all alone. Recently I felt that God pulled a nasty joke on me, but I realize that everything happens for a reason, and maybe something I can't understand why it is happening now in time will reveal itself. I guess that's where faith in the unknown comes in, and realizing that everything happens for a reason.
My grandmother was loved by many.
Much Before the Painting
My grandmother used to read the tarot cards and tea leaves, and had psychic abilities towards our family beyond comprehension. I didn't have to call her when I was upset, she was already dialing my number to ask me what was wrong. Some people have that connection or bond where gut feelings and thoughts interconnect. I never knew how to interpret that. She wasn't a witch I don't think, although the vision of Glinda on Wizard of Oz would fit her quite well. She believed in God and prayed often, making pacts with him on some things. She said she inherited the gifts from her family tree. The gifts of knowing and sight. She said I had them too. My mother definitely did, but she was scared and didn't know how to use them.
I'll never forget the time Mrs. White (name withheld, but she worked homicide and missing persons cases) met me when I was younger, and told me sorrowfully the person closest to me would die in a few months. A week later my grandmother said her stomach hurt, and six weeks later pancreatic cancer had killed her out of nowhere, unbeknownst to us, but Mrs. White had for-warned the whole thing. I could never find her again. Maybe some people just don't want to be found. How can someone have this type sight, I wondered, as it must be a blessing yet a burden.
Third Eyes and Gut Feelings
I have gut feelings and dreams that I don't know what or how to interpret or to direct to help me. Like for instance, I'll be going about my day then in pops a thought that a black cat is going to run out in the street in front of my car, and one minute later one does just in time for me to hit my brakes. How the hell did that happen? I'll never know how to harness it exactly, yet sometimes in life it has helped me avoid big issues. Or getting involved with some people or business dealings, I always go with my gut. Granted, when I meet certain people I can read them quite well, and maybe that helps in my being successful yet some people I can't read at all. It is as if their souls are closed.
I sit and chalk that which I don't understand up to God, he made this sunset last night.
There has only been once in my life that I've met someone I totally connected with on a spiritual level, as if I could see inside their soul. You know, the type of feeling you get when you feel like you've known someone before or known them your whole life. Truth be told, that scared the living hell out of me and like a wild black mustang, I ran into the sunset. Finishing your sentences and reading your mind or saying what you were going to ask is like having a creepy twin of sorts. I even went so far as to ask my Father if he could have another child out there, that would be my DNA it was so genuine. He said no. I could read that person at first but then my sight went clouded and I disconnected.
I also think if you are trying to establish sight and gut feelings, that it can go jaded or clouded by matters of the heart. As well as unnecessary stress or circumstances, factors beyond your control. Some of the best answers of the universe come to you on a clear day when waters are calm.
People in general in life seem to tell me their deepest darkest secrets. I hardly know someone and they are telling me horrific things that happened to them as a child. Why is this? Do I just look like the person you are supposed to confess to and what am I supposed to do with this information? It's sad having this weight on my shoulders. Then there's the death talks. My grandfather knew he would die the next morning at 4am and he did. My great grandmother told me she would go that night at 11 pm and she did. My grandmother wanted to see me while she was sick, and told me she's going to die at 7pm the following night sharp. At 6:59 she passed in my mom's arms. What and why do people tell me these things? It's a burden.
I've been trying for years to get more in touch with the gifts that we all have inside, but yet don't know how to harness or use. My life is much too stressful and hectic to pin it down. I think meditation and prayer may also help enhance the gifts we have. Lately God has been talking to me in many ways. I see double rainbows, get swarmed by fireflies, and have little miracles happen every day as if to say I am not alone. Many dreams of Jesus and small scale miracles happening in my life. I think I need to embrace Psalm 386 and taken God more into my life to see that what will be will be and God is standing behind me and I'm not alone. I've always considered myself Pagan, only because I believe in God and nature but don't go to church or take part in organized religion due to me hating the Catholic religion that I was born into. Perhaps I'm starting to think that God is calling to me for some reason and if only to say I am not on this journey alone!
Psyhics and Card Readers are Phooey.
Most professed card readers are phooey and a waste of money or just for fun. Those psychic lines are bull crap and though I knew a few good readers, I have to say I had my cards read recently and didn't like the way they came out. I shuffled them again and they came out almost exact. I went for a third time while the lady watched and shook her head. The third time they came out the same. Perhaps it's not the psychic reading but the person shuffling's whose energy is out of whack.
Charley Takaya is the only real deal Seer I know.
I know of one real deal Seer, besides Mrs. White, named Charley Takaya. Some may call him psychic but I feel the realm of what he does goes much deeper. Biblical references to SEERS indicate these are prophets, whose visions come from the heavens, dreams, and psychic abilities combined. Charley can encapsulate the past and the present and be a medium. He's definitely in touch with his third eye. He doesn't try to make a lot of money off his gifts, but use them to help people. For gosh sakes he's on Fiverr now.
Sometimes you don't want to hear the truth, but he'll tell you anyways. He's helped me in personal struggles and in business. He didn't ask me to write this and I'm not getting paid. I just thought maybe someone else out there may need his help. He says he gets his gifts from his elders. Charley says he uses "Onmyōji 陰陽師 -- ancient 6th century Japanese wisdom passed to him by his grandfather who was leading authority, and advisor to God Divine Emperor of Japan Hirohito."
Charley Takaya Website
Only on Fiverr
People Who Have Embraced Their Spiritual Gifts
I am certain that all of this spiritualism things I'm going through will reveal itself in time. After my mom passed I sought help from a Buddhist Counselor, and the one thing I reveled at was the fact he was so calm all the time, every day.
It must be nice to find Zen.
Those who have the true gifts of sight and wisdom and knowledge, to see from one end of the spectrum to the other. Yet to me, it would seem too much of a burden for me to see someone's fate and know they only had a few days to live, and have to make a decision to tell them. Shouldn't that be left up to the divine powers of the universe and not human kind?